Somehow, I had forgotten. I forgot that I am supposed to apologize for my body. My fat is a reason for ridicule. My short skirt is a reason for cat calls. My femininity is a reason for my rape. I forgot because it hadn’t happened in a while. I guess my skirt hadn’t been short enough. Someone hadn’t been drunk enough. I hadn’t been unlucky enough.
One of the consequences of rape is considerable anxiety concerning sexual activity. For men who are the sexual partners of rape victims, there is likely to be a temporary disruption in previous patterns of sexual activity. The lack of understanding or the insensitivity of a victim’s partner may make the resumption of sexual activity seem rapelike, or provide her with cues that remind her of the incident. If you are the partner of a rape victim or if you are a rape victim you may consider sharing these suggestions with your partner.
via How far will you go?.
In 2006 I was sexually assaulted. I never expected to blog about it.
One evening in DC, a stranger grabbed me as I walked from the metro stop to my apartment after work. I wish I could say I screamed or fought back, but I was too horrified. Instead I could only stare in disbelief at the jackass holding me down. This can’t be happening. In a desperate scramble I somehow managed to break away before it escalated to rape and ran inside my building. He winked and blew a kiss from behind the glass door, as if to say ‘oh well, next time‘. I was the third women in the neighborhood to report a similar story to police in two weeks–also the luckiest. The experience forever shattered a false sense of security, knowing that to monsters like this man, I’m nothing more than conquest, having no identity beyond what I can potentially provide for them. The reward isn’t about sex–but subjugation and power. And I will not be a silent witness to rape.
CBS correspondent Lara Logan is speaking out for the first time since her brutal sexual assault in Egypt.
Logan was attacked by a mob near Cairo’s Tahrir Square on Feb. 11, the day that President Hosni Mubarak was finally driven from power.
TRIGGER WARNING Rape, Rape Culture, Sexual Assault, Abuse
Rape is only four letters, one small syllable, and yet it is one of the hardest words to coax from your lips when you need it most.
Entering our teenage years in the sex saturated ’90s, my friends and I knew tons about rape. We knew to always be aware while walking, to hold your keys out as a possible weapon against an attack. We knew that we shouldn’t walk alone at night, and if we absolutely had to, we were to avoid shortcuts, dark paths, or alleyways. We even learned ways to combat date rape, even though none of us were old enough to have friends that drove, or to be invited to parties with alcohol. We memorized the mantras, chanting them like a yogic sutra, crafting our words into a protective charm with which to ward off potential rapists: do not walk alone at night. Put a napkin over your drink at parties. Don’t get into cars with strange men. If someone tries to abduct you, scream loudly and try to attack them because a rapist tries to pick women who are easy targets.
Yes, we learned a lot about rape.
What we were not prepared for was everything else. Rape was something we could identify, an act with a strict definition and two distinct scenarios. Not rape was something else entirely.
only then did i realize that i can change things. i have the power to raise awareness about this subject, and my voice can make a difference.
each time i write this, i realize something new. this time, i realized that i’ve stopped letting my experience define me. i’ve stopped letting him win, and realized that only i can take control of my life.
Yesterday was the fourth anniversary of the day that a stranger appeared suddenly in my life and changed the trajectory of my future. He and I are not celebrating this anniversary with a romantic dinner, a getaway weekend, or love-making. He and I do not even know each other. He probably doesn’t commemorate the first and last time we met like I do. I’m sure he has not lost sleep over thinking about me, is not haunted by my memory – I may even just have been one of many for him, but I will never know.
Yesterday was the fourth anniversary of the day that a stranger raped me.
Women in the U.S. military are more likely to be raped by fellow soldiers than killed by enemy fire. I know what you’re thinking – it sounds too unbelievable to be true. But it’s not.
Many disorder behaviors are a direct consequence of trauma. Some of the disorders caused by sexual violence include Rape Trauma Syndrome,(PTSD) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and eating disorders (ED). It is estimated that almost 30% to 40% of eating disorder patients are survivors of sexual trauma.
If you healing from sexual assault and you get out of bed in the morning,
You are doing well.
If you healing from sexual assault and you hold down a job,
You are amazing.
If you are healing from sexual assault and and you are still remotely pleasant to others,
You are a lot nicer than me.
If you are healing from sexual assault and you cannot always be there for a friend,
You are still a good friend and a strong enough person to know what is best for you.
If you are healing from sexual assault, and find it difficult to care for yourself, but still find the strength to care and love your family than you are strong as well.