“Denim Day” Counts All the Ways We Excuse Sexual Assault

#2 SHE WAS ASKING FOR IT:

It is often believed that sexy or suggestive clothing invites wanted male attention, positive or negative. Regardless, wearing revealing clothing does not invite sexual assault. In fact, women and girls have been raped in everything from jeans to business suits to pajamas. This belief reinforces the myth that women and girls invite assault by their clothing choices and shifts the blame for the crime to the victim and away from the perpetrator, where it belongs.

via “Denim Day” Counts All the Ways We Excuse Sexual Assault – The Sexist – Washington City Paper.

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Original Essay: The Not Rape Epidemic

TRIGGER WARNING Rape, Rape Culture, Sexual Assault, Abuse

Rape is only four letters, one small syllable, and yet it is one of the hardest words to coax from your lips when you need it most.

Entering our teenage years in the sex saturated ’90s, my friends and I knew tons about rape. We knew to always be aware while walking, to hold your keys out as a possible weapon against an attack. We knew that we shouldn’t walk alone at night, and if we absolutely had to, we were to avoid shortcuts, dark paths, or alleyways. We even learned ways to combat date rape, even though none of us were old enough to have friends that drove, or to be invited to parties with alcohol. We memorized the mantras, chanting them like a yogic sutra, crafting our words into a protective charm with which to ward off potential rapists: do not walk alone at night. Put a napkin over your drink at parties. Don’t get into cars with strange men. If someone tries to abduct you, scream loudly and try to attack them because a rapist tries to pick women who are easy targets.

Yes, we learned a lot about rape.

What we were not prepared for was everything else. Rape was something we could identify, an act with a strict definition and two distinct scenarios. Not rape was something else entirely.

via Original Essay: The Not Rape Epidemic | Racialicious – the intersection of race and pop culture.

Summit: Presentation by Joanne Belknap

Alcohol and drugs do not cause sexual abuse and that’s probably one of the most controversial things I feel like I have said in all of this. People’s basic values don’t change when they’re high or drunk. That I may drink and sing karaoke in a bar, but I don’t drink and hit my child, I don’t drink and kick my dog. That I may do some things that I don’t have the courage to do such as, you know, singing karaoke, that I don’t otherwise, but I’m not going to go out and roll down my window and yell racial epithets when I’m drunk. To say that people suddenly have a completely different value system on what is right or wrong, we have to be really careful about that.

via Summit: Presentation by Joanne Belknap.

Rape: Myth v. Reality

Myth: Sexual assault is an impulsive, uncontrollable act of passion. The victim isirresistible to the rapist.

Fact:

 

Rape is an act of violence, not of sexual desire. The majority of rapes are planned: the place arranged, enticement used, or the victim deliberately sought and coerced into sexual relations.It is the vulnerability of the victim that attracts the sexual predator. Victims range from infants to the elderly. Anyone, regardless of age, sex, physical appearance, marital status,ethnic, religious or socio-economic background can be raped.Get the full list here (PDF)

Relax Ladies (TRIGGER WARINING Rape, Victim Blamimg, Rape Apology)

Imagine that there were a “terrible and alarming trend” of sexual violence on college campuses against female students. Imagine that 20 percent of college women were victims of rape or attempted rape — a rate of sexual assault astronomically higher than anything seen in America’s most violent cities.If 18-year-old girls were in fact walking into such a grotesque maelstrom of sexual violence when they first picked up their dormitory room key, parents and students alike would have demanded a radical restructuring of college life years ago. There would have been a huge surge in all-girls colleges to protect female students from these outrageous levels of sexual violence; those colleges that did still admit boys and girls together would have been forced to prove to worried parents that the boys they were admitting were not rapists — perhaps allowing parents to interview these aspiring monks before they were accepted. Just to be on the safe side, administrators would provide round-the-clock protection for their female students.

Instead, over the last decade or so, the proportion of female students in coed colleges has skyrocketed, so that there are now more girls than boys in most of the nation’s coed schools. Parents relentlessly push their daughters into the most prestigious schools they can get into. Competition among female students to enroll in coed colleges has never been higher. None of those girls demand bodyguards as a condition of acceptance; instead, their parents feel fortunate to cough up tens of thousands of dollars a year to keep their daughters on campus, where they are free to boogie through as many drunken frat parties as they can before passing out from overinhalation of Kahlua and cream.

Heather MacDonald** Chicago Sun-Times “Don’t buy into tale of campus-rape crisis”

It just gets better as you read more!!

Don’t worry ladies! There is no rape crisis!!!! And Especiall not on college campuses! What about the research you’ve heard so much about? It’s fake! Fakey fake fake! How do I know? Heather MacDonald of the Chicago Sun-Times told me! How does she know? She just knows, okay, cause it’s like, obvious. God. More girls are going to college, they wouldnt do that if they were being raped now would they? They would be sequestered in their homes where they should be. Cooking!

Also, if you’re drunk it’s not really rape, it’s just slutty drunk sex, Heather MacDonald told me! Also, probably if you know the guy it’s just slutty slut sluttiness. Sluts! Also, college students are probably going to hell for their slutty drunken orgies. Heather MacDonald and the Chicago Sun-Times knows. Ask her. And don’t forget The Chicago Sun-Times endorsed this message. (Newspapers!) (Contact them! Let them know how much you loved the article!) (Call the Editor in Chief, he’s not busy! (Donald Hayner Editor in chief (312) 321-3000 )

**Heather Mac Donald is the John M. Olin fellow at the Manhattan Institute and co-author of The Immigration Solution. Racism!

 

Article Via Chicago Sun-Times, commentary Via The Unemployed Mind 

~Staff

Walk a Mile

Walk a Mile in Her Shoes is an international men’s march to stop rape, sexual assault and gender violence. Day chose to bring Walk a Mile in Her Shoes to campus last year as a project for her Communication 340 leadership course, which currently has 32 students enrolled.

Day said she brought Walk a Mile in Her Shoes to Ball State because a lot of college-age students deal with sexual assault silently.

“You don’t really think about things like that happening to your students, but they are vulnerable at this age,” she said. “We hope people will be supportive in preventing these types of issues, but also helping people who are going through them.”

~BSU Daily News

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Wisit the organization’s website at http://www.walkamileinhershoes.org/

~Staff

It’s Okay to Say No

“Imagine you’re at a party. A guy offers you a drink. You say no. He says “Come on, one drink!” You say “no thanks.” Later, he brings you a soda. “I know you said you didn’t want a drink, but I was getting one for myself and you looked thirsty.” For you to refuse at this point makes you the asshole. He’s just being nice, right? Predators use the social contract and our own good hearts and fear of being rude against us. If you drink the drink, you’re teaching him that it just takes a little persistence on his part to overcome your “no.” If you say “Really, I appreciate it, but no thanks” and put the drink down and walk away from it, you’re the one who looks rude in that moment. But the fact is, you didn’t ask for the drink and you don’t want the drink and you don’t have to drink it just to make some guy feel validated.”

The art of “no,” continued: Saying no when you’ve already said yes. « CaptainAwkward.com (via notemily)

Rape culture is encouraging male sexual…

Rape culture is encouraging male sexual aggression. Rape culture is regarding violence as sexy and sexuality as violent. Rape culture is treating rape as a compliment, as the unbridled passion stirred in a healthy man by a beautiful woman, making irresistible the urge to rip open her bodice or slam her against a wall, or a wrought-iron fence, or a car hood, or pull her by her hair, or shove her onto a bed, or any one of a million other images of fight-fucking in movies and television shows and on the covers of romance novels that convey violent urges are inextricably linked with (straight) sexuality. Rape culture is treating straight sexuality as the norm. Rape culture is lumping queer sexuality into nonconsensual sexual practices like pedophilia and bestiality. Rape culture is privileging heterosexuality because ubiquitous imagery of two adults of the same-sex engaging in egalitarian partnerships without gender-based dominance and submission undermines (erroneous) biological rationales for the rape culture’s existence. Rape culture is rape being used as a weapon, a tool of war and genocide and oppression. Rape culture is rape being used as a corrective to “cure” queer women. Rape culture is a militarized culture and “the natural product of all wars, everywhere, at all times, in all forms.” Rape culture is 1 in 33 men being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is encouraging men to use the language of rape to establish dominance over one another (“I’ll make you my bitch”). Rape culture is making rape a ubiquitous part of male-exclusive bonding. Rape culture is ignoring the cavernous need for men’s prison reform in part because the threat of being raped in prison is considered an acceptable deterrent to committing crime, and the threat only works if actual men are actually being raped. Rape culture is 1 in 6 women being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is not even talking about the reality that many women are sexually assaulted multiple times in their lives. Rape culture is the way in which the constant threat of sexual assault affects women’s daily movements.

“—Shakesville: Rape Culture 101

This is a couple years old so it’s probably been passed around several times, but it’s ALWAYS worth a reblog, reread, re everything.

(via theunemployedmind)

the original post doesn’t address that transfolk are more likely to get raped, so… according to this MTF transfolk are have a 55% chance of getting raped… FTMs have a 68% chance. 7.9 times and 3.1 times higher than cis men and women, respectively.

(via xicanagrrrl)

via Well Excuse Me, Princess, Rape culture is encouraging male sexual….

Quote and Commentary, worth it.

~Staff

“When You Dress Like A Slut, You’re Asking For It.”

“When You Dress Like A Slut, You’re Asking For It.”

That’s what Toronto Police Officer, Michael Sanguinetti thinks. He said, “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.” His comments come in the wake of similar statements, like those made by Florida state Representative, Kathleen Passidomo concerning an eleven-year-old child who was recently gang raped by eighteen men and boys, ”because she was dressed like a 21-year-old prostitute,” and therefore asking for it.

via “When You Dress Like A Slut, You’re Asking For It.”.

Follow the link to read more and find out about rally’s in the works to respond to this victim blaming !!

~Staff