Somehow, I had forgotten. I forgot that I am supposed to apologize for my body. My fat is a reason for ridicule. My short skirt is a reason for cat calls. My femininity is a reason for my rape. I forgot because it hadn’t happened in a while. I guess my skirt hadn’t been short enough. Someone hadn’t been drunk enough. I hadn’t been unlucky enough.
#2 SHE WAS ASKING FOR IT:
It is often believed that sexy or suggestive clothing invites wanted male attention, positive or negative. Regardless, wearing revealing clothing does not invite sexual assault. In fact, women and girls have been raped in everything from jeans to business suits to pajamas. This belief reinforces the myth that women and girls invite assault by their clothing choices and shifts the blame for the crime to the victim and away from the perpetrator, where it belongs.
In 2006 I was sexually assaulted. I never expected to blog about it.
One evening in DC, a stranger grabbed me as I walked from the metro stop to my apartment after work. I wish I could say I screamed or fought back, but I was too horrified. Instead I could only stare in disbelief at the jackass holding me down. This can’t be happening. In a desperate scramble I somehow managed to break away before it escalated to rape and ran inside my building. He winked and blew a kiss from behind the glass door, as if to say ‘oh well, next time‘. I was the third women in the neighborhood to report a similar story to police in two weeks–also the luckiest. The experience forever shattered a false sense of security, knowing that to monsters like this man, I’m nothing more than conquest, having no identity beyond what I can potentially provide for them. The reward isn’t about sex–but subjugation and power. And I will not be a silent witness to rape.
CBS correspondent Lara Logan is speaking out for the first time since her brutal sexual assault in Egypt.
Logan was attacked by a mob near Cairo’s Tahrir Square on Feb. 11, the day that President Hosni Mubarak was finally driven from power.
TRIGGER WARNING Rape, Rape Culture, Sexual Assault, Abuse
Rape is only four letters, one small syllable, and yet it is one of the hardest words to coax from your lips when you need it most.
Entering our teenage years in the sex saturated ’90s, my friends and I knew tons about rape. We knew to always be aware while walking, to hold your keys out as a possible weapon against an attack. We knew that we shouldn’t walk alone at night, and if we absolutely had to, we were to avoid shortcuts, dark paths, or alleyways. We even learned ways to combat date rape, even though none of us were old enough to have friends that drove, or to be invited to parties with alcohol. We memorized the mantras, chanting them like a yogic sutra, crafting our words into a protective charm with which to ward off potential rapists: do not walk alone at night. Put a napkin over your drink at parties. Don’t get into cars with strange men. If someone tries to abduct you, scream loudly and try to attack them because a rapist tries to pick women who are easy targets.
Yes, we learned a lot about rape.
What we were not prepared for was everything else. Rape was something we could identify, an act with a strict definition and two distinct scenarios. Not rape was something else entirely.
Alcohol and drugs do not cause sexual abuse and that’s probably one of the most controversial things I feel like I have said in all of this. People’s basic values don’t change when they’re high or drunk. That I may drink and sing karaoke in a bar, but I don’t drink and hit my child, I don’t drink and kick my dog. That I may do some things that I don’t have the courage to do such as, you know, singing karaoke, that I don’t otherwise, but I’m not going to go out and roll down my window and yell racial epithets when I’m drunk. To say that people suddenly have a completely different value system on what is right or wrong, we have to be really careful about that.
1. Four out of five female undergraduates surveyed at Canadian universities said that they had been victims of violence in a dating relationship. Of that number, 29% reported incidents of sexual assault. (W. DeKeseredy and K. Kelly, “The Incidence and Prevalence of Woman Abuse in Canadian University and College Dating Relationships: Results From a National Survey,” Ottawa: Health Canada, 1993)
2. A survey on date rape showed that 60% of Canadian college-aged males indicated that they would commit sexual assault if they were certain they would not get caught. (Helen Lenskyj, “An Analysis of Violence Against Women: A Manual for Educators and Administrators,” Toronto: Ontario Institute for Studies in Education, 1992)
3. According to Statistics Canada, only 6% of all sexual assaults are reported to the police. (Statistics Canada, “The Violence Against Women Survey,” The Daily, November 18, 1993)
4. Only 1% of all date rapes are reported to police. (Diana Russell, Sexual Exploitation: Rape, Child Abuse and Workplace Harassment, California: Sage Publishing, 1984)
Via Holly’s Fight For Justice, See full list of stats linked above.
Imagine that there were a “terrible and alarming trend” of sexual violence on college campuses against female students. Imagine that 20 percent of college women were victims of rape or attempted rape — a rate of sexual assault astronomically higher than anything seen in America’s most violent cities.If 18-year-old girls were in fact walking into such a grotesque maelstrom of sexual violence when they first picked up their dormitory room key, parents and students alike would have demanded a radical restructuring of college life years ago. There would have been a huge surge in all-girls colleges to protect female students from these outrageous levels of sexual violence; those colleges that did still admit boys and girls together would have been forced to prove to worried parents that the boys they were admitting were not rapists — perhaps allowing parents to interview these aspiring monks before they were accepted. Just to be on the safe side, administrators would provide round-the-clock protection for their female students.
Instead, over the last decade or so, the proportion of female students in coed colleges has skyrocketed, so that there are now more girls than boys in most of the nation’s coed schools. Parents relentlessly push their daughters into the most prestigious schools they can get into. Competition among female students to enroll in coed colleges has never been higher. None of those girls demand bodyguards as a condition of acceptance; instead, their parents feel fortunate to cough up tens of thousands of dollars a year to keep their daughters on campus, where they are free to boogie through as many drunken frat parties as they can before passing out from overinhalation of Kahlua and cream.
It just gets better as you read more!!
Don’t worry ladies! There is no rape crisis!!!! And Especiall not on college campuses! What about the research you’ve heard so much about? It’s fake! Fakey fake fake! How do I know? Heather MacDonald of the Chicago Sun-Times told me! How does she know? She just knows, okay, cause it’s like, obvious. God. More girls are going to college, they wouldnt do that if they were being raped now would they? They would be sequestered in their homes where they should be. Cooking!
Also, if you’re drunk it’s not really rape, it’s just slutty drunk sex, Heather MacDonald told me! Also, probably if you know the guy it’s just slutty slut sluttiness. Sluts! Also, college students are probably going to hell for their slutty drunken orgies. Heather MacDonald and the Chicago Sun-Times knows. Ask her. And don’t forget The Chicago Sun-Times endorsed this message. (Newspapers!) (Contact them! Let them know how much you loved the article!) (Call the Editor in Chief, he’s not busy! (Donald Hayner Editor in chief (312) 321-3000 )
**Heather Mac Donald is the John M. Olin fellow at the Manhattan Institute and co-author of The Immigration Solution. Racism!
Article Via Chicago Sun-Times, commentary Via The Unemployed Mind
South Australian District Court judge Michael Thomas Boylan, during sentencing on Tuesday, said the priest had acted “despicably” when he attacked the woman after she let him in a house in Modbury, in Adelaide’s northeast, on July 13, 2009.
“You behaved despicably and took advantage of her vulnerability for your own gratification,” he said.
“You have lost your standing in the community … as a result of your crime.”